Today I went for a physical, back to my old Dr. that I hadn't been to for about 5 years.
He asked all the typical questions, then he asked,"Do you have kids", "How many kids do you have", How old are they". I told him 2, and began crying and had to repeat twice because he couln'yt understand me through the sobs, that my little boy went to heaven 2 years ago. He asked what happened, I told him he had a brain tumor. He asked how I felt, I told him I was sad.
He types a few things into his computer and then he says to me, "Two years is a long time to still be grieving". I told him, I will be sad and grieving for the rest of my life.
It was all I could do to not ask him if he had kids and ask how he would feel if it were his child.
Of course the first thing him and many others want to do is medicate and label it depression. I am so tired of this being the go to. There is no remedy or pill for a broken heart, no pill that will bring Alec back, no pill that will make me less sad about Alec not being here in my arms.
This upset me so much, I don't know how I was able to control myself from telling him how I really felt, but I did. I do feel Alec was there with me as just being at the Dr. brought on anxiety on it's own.
I also share this so others understand that sadness and a broken heart are not the same as depression.