Keith and I cleaned out our garage last weekend, and Alec's push chair (stroller/wheel chair) was in there. We talked about it and decided to donate it, but not just to anywhere. I said I would check with Jessica, Alec's vision teacher who works at Perkins School for the blind, or Martha at the Jimmy Fund to see if they knew of someone who needed it. It was very hard to think about doing, but I just did it. I decided to start with Jessica and sent her an email on Tuesday (not knowing if it was still her email address or if she still worked at Perkins), I told her we had Alec's push chair and all of Alec's equipment and books and wondered if she could help us with donating them. I told her we also had her Brailler (a type writer that prints Braille on paper) which she worked with Alec on. She also gave Cassidy her own lesson on the Braiiler, and Cass loved it. I mentioned in the email that Cassidy is still enjoying using the Brailler and knows the Braille alphabet and can type words. I was hoping she would say Cassidy could keep it for a bit longer, (this was an older Brailler and I knew most kids were starting to use better ones--so I didn't think a child would miss out on it.)
Jessica replied back to me that same day and said she would be happy to take everything and find good homes for them. She said it would be fine if Cassidy held on to the Brailler. And she said she would be in Billerica that Friday working with a student and could she come then.
I cried reading her email, it hit me that now I had to give her Alec's things. It's very emotional. I was surprised that she got back so quick. When Keith got home I told him all of this and continued to cry. He said it's the right thing to do, I said I know, and he said you know Alec wants it to go to other kids it can help, and I said I know. So I emailed Jessica back to tell her Friday would be good and could she come at 2:00 when Cassidy would be home because she wanted to see her. I didn't get a reply back, but figured she was probably planning on it. So Thursday night we went through Alec's braille books, we told Cass she could keep any that she wanted, these were fun books and Cassidy read some of them to Alec too . I had already kept Al's favorites and Cass kept a few more. It was the hardest to take them out of Al's room, but as we went through them it brought back all the moments spent with Al with them which was so good. Then there was a light up box which Alec didn't love too much, but he did love these long skinny black blocks that went with it, and he went through a phase of carrying and needing the black block, we kept a few of those too.
Cassidy had the Brailler out and was typing away, and she said I need more paper, I only have one sheet left(it uses special paper). I thought to myself, I hope Jessica brings Cass more paper tomorrow.
So Jessica comes on Friday, I see her walk to the door and then go back to her car, then she knocked. She came in, I felt calm, it was alot easier to see her than I anticipated. She gives Cassidy a stack of paper for the Brailler, and a sheet with ways to abbreviate words in Braille-- the first abbreviation was "ab" and another one was "al". Al's Magic! I told her how Cassidy said she need more paper last night and how I thought I hoped she brought more. Jessica said she came to the door and forgot Cassidy's paper and went back to her car to get it. More Magic! Then she started to tell us that she doesn't work in Billerica anymore and hasn't for 2 years, she got choked up and was fighting the tears. She said she had just made an appointment with a student in Billerica that she had been trying to plan for months and it was this day. We both were thinking the same thing: that Alec worked this all out, I mean she just happens to be coming to Billerica the same week I email her -- after 2 years. I just knew right then that Alec orchestarated it and was also approving that it was ok and it was time to donate these items.
Plus in my email to Jessica, I told her how blessed Alec was to have her and Ann (his previous vision teacher) as his vision teachers. While we were talking she told me how she had showed my email to Ann whom she had just spent the day with the other day. I think she said she hardly sees her because she works in a different area. It was just another sign.
Alec always gives me (and us) the strength to get through the things I think I cannot.
While we could have donated these things a while ago, and believe me, I felt guilty for not, we were not ready to. I feel Alec knew this, and understood it was too hard for us to do. But he aligned this perfectly so we would know for sure that this is what he wants us to do.
As Jessica was leaving she said, if you change your mind, I will come right back with it all.
She was so sweet, she understood completely, and knowing her and how kind and compassionate and truly dedicated to these beautiful children that she is (because she was just this way with Al ), we knew she'd take special care with Al's things.
Jessica replied back to me that same day and said she would be happy to take everything and find good homes for them. She said it would be fine if Cassidy held on to the Brailler. And she said she would be in Billerica that Friday working with a student and could she come then.
I cried reading her email, it hit me that now I had to give her Alec's things. It's very emotional. I was surprised that she got back so quick. When Keith got home I told him all of this and continued to cry. He said it's the right thing to do, I said I know, and he said you know Alec wants it to go to other kids it can help, and I said I know. So I emailed Jessica back to tell her Friday would be good and could she come at 2:00 when Cassidy would be home because she wanted to see her. I didn't get a reply back, but figured she was probably planning on it. So Thursday night we went through Alec's braille books, we told Cass she could keep any that she wanted, these were fun books and Cassidy read some of them to Alec too . I had already kept Al's favorites and Cass kept a few more. It was the hardest to take them out of Al's room, but as we went through them it brought back all the moments spent with Al with them which was so good. Then there was a light up box which Alec didn't love too much, but he did love these long skinny black blocks that went with it, and he went through a phase of carrying and needing the black block, we kept a few of those too.
Cassidy had the Brailler out and was typing away, and she said I need more paper, I only have one sheet left(it uses special paper). I thought to myself, I hope Jessica brings Cass more paper tomorrow.
So Jessica comes on Friday, I see her walk to the door and then go back to her car, then she knocked. She came in, I felt calm, it was alot easier to see her than I anticipated. She gives Cassidy a stack of paper for the Brailler, and a sheet with ways to abbreviate words in Braille-- the first abbreviation was "ab" and another one was "al". Al's Magic! I told her how Cassidy said she need more paper last night and how I thought I hoped she brought more. Jessica said she came to the door and forgot Cassidy's paper and went back to her car to get it. More Magic! Then she started to tell us that she doesn't work in Billerica anymore and hasn't for 2 years, she got choked up and was fighting the tears. She said she had just made an appointment with a student in Billerica that she had been trying to plan for months and it was this day. We both were thinking the same thing: that Alec worked this all out, I mean she just happens to be coming to Billerica the same week I email her -- after 2 years. I just knew right then that Alec orchestarated it and was also approving that it was ok and it was time to donate these items.
Plus in my email to Jessica, I told her how blessed Alec was to have her and Ann (his previous vision teacher) as his vision teachers. While we were talking she told me how she had showed my email to Ann whom she had just spent the day with the other day. I think she said she hardly sees her because she works in a different area. It was just another sign.
Alec always gives me (and us) the strength to get through the things I think I cannot.
While we could have donated these things a while ago, and believe me, I felt guilty for not, we were not ready to. I feel Alec knew this, and understood it was too hard for us to do. But he aligned this perfectly so we would know for sure that this is what he wants us to do.
As Jessica was leaving she said, if you change your mind, I will come right back with it all.
She was so sweet, she understood completely, and knowing her and how kind and compassionate and truly dedicated to these beautiful children that she is (because she was just this way with Al ), we knew she'd take special care with Al's things.
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