Here's a photo of the Giraffe that was at the salon I went to. The owner took a picture for me and e-mailed it to me that night at... 9:23
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So I went on a job interview tonight at a hair salon in Woburn. I had responded to an ad on craigs list and had been emailing the owner and I decided to meet her and see how I felt about it.
I have been very torn about going back to Hairdressing, I thought I'd never go back. But I realize that no matter what job I have, I am going to have people ask me the questions that are so painful. It's just in this business it's every hour or so. Plus continuos talking, which is very difficult. I am also torn about going back to Terri's, I LOVE Terrri, she is a beautiful person, friend and boss. I just don't think I can be back in my old norm. I haven't been able to go in to anywhere in Billerica, I'm so afraid of bumping in to people. (Though Cassidy helped me conquer 2 of my fears this week when we went in to Market Basket in N. Billerica and Dunkin Donuts near us.) My anxiety was high, but I felt so much braver with her by my side. Anyway, on my way there, I asked Alec to help me with this job decision, to help me know if I am strong enough for when people ask me questions, if I am ready to go back. And if this salon would be a good salon for me. So I walked in and met the owner, she told me to follow her to a back room so we could talk and as I walked I saw it -- A 3 foot tall GIRAFFE statue. It was amazing! Al always takes care of his Mama, he always helps me. Our meeting went well, she was so nice and very understanding, I had already told her about Alec on our phone interview. She asked if she thought I was ready to come back, if I was going to be ok. I told her it was going to be hardest when people ask how old my kids are and my eyes filled. She said she knew that no matter how much time has passed that it will always bring tears. She just understood. I then told her how I asked Alec to let me know if this was a good salon for me and how I saw the Gireffe and how Alec loved Giraffes. She said oh wow, I believe in signs too, and then she noticed my giraffe pocketbook. Then she told me that the girl that was an assistant is "23" years old. After I asked her if I could take a picture of the giraffe for Cassidy, she said sure. (I would post the picture except I couldn't figure out how to take a picture with my phone). So we went out and she brought me over to the giraffe and she said, I don't even know how you saw it, it was in a facial room in the corner behind an open door that we walked by, I realized it was pretty incredible that I even saw it. Of course Alec made sure I did. One day dad took me to the orthodontist and Dr.Fertman{my orthodontist} was wearing a giraffe print tie which I have said before. But then the next time I went I wore giraffe earrings that I got for Christmas and he said "Oh I like your earrings do you know that we have 7 neck bones,how many do you think a giraffe has?"I said the same amount and he was surprised that I knew the answer he said "Wow, I thought I got you there, let me tell you a story about one of my patients.I was surprised that he wanted to tell me a story so I said sure! So he said,"one day a new patient was coming in to meet me with her mother and grandmother,we sat down and started to talk when the grandmother was squinting,covering her eyes,and making weird faces.I said whats wrong? she said I cant stand giraffes!because I was wearing my giraffe tie so I had to cover up my tie with a piece of paper while we finished the meeting." I was so surprised he told me that while I was waiting. I'm pretty sure I was the only patient he ever told that story to!
-cassidy Remembering how they put Alec's name on the building reminded of another time this happened.
When Alec was a baby and was first diagnosed (he was 4 months old), and we were in Children's Hospital. He was in for about 6 weeks. They were building a new building across from the hospital and we could see it from looking out the playroom window , which we'd be in when Cassidy came in to visit. One day I looked out the window at the building and saw the words,"We love you Alex", it was written so big and was clearly meant for a child at the hospital. I had this strong feeling that it was for Alec (even though it said Alex). I felt it was a sign, it gave me a good feeling. Then not long after, I was told that my cousin Gary was working in a building near Children's Hospital (he's an electician), and he was going to come in to visit us on his lunch break. I thought, I wonder if he is working in that building outside the playroom window, I wonder if he wrote ,"We love you Alex". My wonder turned to a certainty. When Gary came in, he told us that he was working in the new building across the street and he wrote a message to Alec in the window. Yup, it was him that wrote it, and yes it was for Alec. I don't know how I knew, I just knew. This video clip was just found by Chelsea, Keith's (and our) second cousin. She forwarded it to Holly and she forwarded it to us, with Chelsea saying "This is why I want to work here". (She's in her senior year of college)
Me and Alec were at the Jimmy Fund for his regular weekly appointment, and Lisa , The Amazing Lisa, told us the guys were going to put Alec's name on the new Dana Farber building they were building. (Lisa is the one who yells "Alec" and tapes his name in the window for the guys to see. I'll have to do another post about her because she is so great. Me and Al were hanging out on the bridge looking out the window when a lady asked if I would speak about what this means to us to have Alec's name on the building. I was so nervous ( I don't do well with spot light). But I could not say no, I had to say how special this was. The first take I said something way better, but they didn't get it, so I had to do it again. I don't understand why they didn't ask Alec or show him more, I wished they did, because that would have been so much better, and what the people would want to see. It was even on the news. I was thinking about this video a few weeks ago, wondering if it was still available to view (because I've been seeing commercials showing the new Dana Farber Building that Alec's name is in). Then this email comes from Holly with this video that Chelsea found. Alec has passed on his "Magic" to us, he always just knew things or could make things happen, and when we asked him how he'd say "It's Magic" ! Now, when I think of something , wonder about something or question something, the answer comes to me, "It's Magic" The other day I was cleaning the kitchen, and the lyrics to an Alanis Morrisette song just popped in my head, they were "I'm sad but I'm laughing, I'm brave but I'm chicken shit", I have no idea why they came to me but I pondered how two opposite emotions can be present at the same time and how this is my life. Then about 20 minutes later I ran downstairs to do laundry and when I came back upstairs, that same song that was just in my head was playing on the radio. I knew it was "Al's Magic", I was blown away and just froze in amazement. Last week Keith told us that at work when one of the guys got to work he told him that he only got like 23 minutes of sleep the night before. Then a few minutes later Keith heard him telling another guy that he only got like 10 minutes of sleep the night before.
(10 23 Alec's Birthday) Alec is always giving us his love in the most unexpected silly ways, but with a 23 or giraffe and many other Alec favorites, he makes sure we know it's him. I mean who says they got 23 minutes of sleep? And who gets only 23 minutes of sleep? And last week I was in the bank drive through cashing a check when I got a text from Beth and the time on it was 10:23, so I started texting her back to tell her she sent me a text at 10:23, when the Teller at the bank said to me that I have an account that has been dormant and if I don't deposit or withdraw from it then the state will take the money. I asked what account it was and she said, " Alec's". That was tough, it was an unexpected pain. Then I looked at Al's picture and I realized it was him. I was having an especially sad 2 days, and I felt these two signs were Alec saying it's ok Mama I'm with you. It helped me take this so sad moment and realize Alec was using it to give me his Love. Hi guys, I was just reading the archives from when I was in the hospital, I like to read them every once in awhile, and every time I do I get all choked up knowing that my little buddy was with me helping me get through all I had to do to stay strong and fight, and in the end when I was out of harms way Me and Al did our special dance that we do and I knew everything would be o.k.
Love Uncle Scott xoxoxo!! Thanks for sharing Scott, there were so many signs from Alec that he was watching out for you and taking care of his Uncle Scooch. He's amazing and your recovery was amazing too. We love you, Love Laura Today when I dropped Cassidy of at her bus stop, she reminded me that she was getting a new bus driver and a new bus today. As her bus drove away, I saw it was bus #18 (my Dad's Birthday is the 18th) and then I instantly remembered that today is February 7, the day my Dad went to Heaven. I felt it was a little love sent my way from my Dad. (I did hope there was a 23 with it)
Then I went home and was watching a recorded Katie show, and she had Bradley Cooper on, he spoke of his Dad who passed away and said his Dad's name is Charles (my Dad's name), some more love from my Dad. Then I was writing a note to Cassidy to tell her about her bus #18 and how it was her Grampy's birthday and today was the day he went to heaven and then I realized it was 23 years ago today. (there is my 23 from Al, my reassurance that they are together) Hi Laura, Keith and Cassidy,
I remember Alec at the school waiting for Cassidy to come out, it was always such a pleasure to see him and that smile! Some days when he was happy for whatever reason he would do a little jig. Just dancing on the spot with his head back and arms out. The first time I saw him do it I immediately thought of Snoopy's happy dance! It looked just the same, dancing just because he was happy or maybe excited! Now whenever I am out and about and I see Snoopy it makes me smile, I immediately think of Alec and his happy dance! Thanks for sharing these stories with us Laura...they truly are wonderful...just like Alec Rachel, Thank you so much for sharing this story / memory. Every time I see a Snoopy, I think of the Snoopy you gave to Alec , it was just so sweet of you. And I will always remember when I was holding Alec you'd say, He's almost as big as you, because he was getting so big but he still loved to be held and I loved holding him. Love Laura Keith and I cleaned out our garage last weekend, and Alec's push chair (stroller/wheel chair) was in there. We talked about it and decided to donate it, but not just to anywhere. I said I would check with Jessica, Alec's vision teacher who works at Perkins School for the blind, or Martha at the Jimmy Fund to see if they knew of someone who needed it. It was very hard to think about doing, but I just did it. I decided to start with Jessica and sent her an email on Tuesday (not knowing if it was still her email address or if she still worked at Perkins), I told her we had Alec's push chair and all of Alec's equipment and books and wondered if she could help us with donating them. I told her we also had her Brailler (a type writer that prints Braille on paper) which she worked with Alec on. She also gave Cassidy her own lesson on the Braiiler, and Cass loved it. I mentioned in the email that Cassidy is still enjoying using the Brailler and knows the Braille alphabet and can type words. I was hoping she would say Cassidy could keep it for a bit longer, (this was an older Brailler and I knew most kids were starting to use better ones--so I didn't think a child would miss out on it.)
Jessica replied back to me that same day and said she would be happy to take everything and find good homes for them. She said it would be fine if Cassidy held on to the Brailler. And she said she would be in Billerica that Friday working with a student and could she come then. I cried reading her email, it hit me that now I had to give her Alec's things. It's very emotional. I was surprised that she got back so quick. When Keith got home I told him all of this and continued to cry. He said it's the right thing to do, I said I know, and he said you know Alec wants it to go to other kids it can help, and I said I know. So I emailed Jessica back to tell her Friday would be good and could she come at 2:00 when Cassidy would be home because she wanted to see her. I didn't get a reply back, but figured she was probably planning on it. So Thursday night we went through Alec's braille books, we told Cass she could keep any that she wanted, these were fun books and Cassidy read some of them to Alec too . I had already kept Al's favorites and Cass kept a few more. It was the hardest to take them out of Al's room, but as we went through them it brought back all the moments spent with Al with them which was so good. Then there was a light up box which Alec didn't love too much, but he did love these long skinny black blocks that went with it, and he went through a phase of carrying and needing the black block, we kept a few of those too. Cassidy had the Brailler out and was typing away, and she said I need more paper, I only have one sheet left(it uses special paper). I thought to myself, I hope Jessica brings Cass more paper tomorrow. So Jessica comes on Friday, I see her walk to the door and then go back to her car, then she knocked. She came in, I felt calm, it was alot easier to see her than I anticipated. She gives Cassidy a stack of paper for the Brailler, and a sheet with ways to abbreviate words in Braille-- the first abbreviation was "ab" and another one was "al". Al's Magic! I told her how Cassidy said she need more paper last night and how I thought I hoped she brought more. Jessica said she came to the door and forgot Cassidy's paper and went back to her car to get it. More Magic! Then she started to tell us that she doesn't work in Billerica anymore and hasn't for 2 years, she got choked up and was fighting the tears. She said she had just made an appointment with a student in Billerica that she had been trying to plan for months and it was this day. We both were thinking the same thing: that Alec worked this all out, I mean she just happens to be coming to Billerica the same week I email her -- after 2 years. I just knew right then that Alec orchestarated it and was also approving that it was ok and it was time to donate these items. Plus in my email to Jessica, I told her how blessed Alec was to have her and Ann (his previous vision teacher) as his vision teachers. While we were talking she told me how she had showed my email to Ann whom she had just spent the day with the other day. I think she said she hardly sees her because she works in a different area. It was just another sign. Alec always gives me (and us) the strength to get through the things I think I cannot. While we could have donated these things a while ago, and believe me, I felt guilty for not, we were not ready to. I feel Alec knew this, and understood it was too hard for us to do. But he aligned this perfectly so we would know for sure that this is what he wants us to do. As Jessica was leaving she said, if you change your mind, I will come right back with it all. She was so sweet, she understood completely, and knowing her and how kind and compassionate and truly dedicated to these beautiful children that she is (because she was just this way with Al ), we knew she'd take special care with Al's things. |
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