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"There's always time for Nicole"

3/26/2013

It was a family joke that whenever Nicole called me, Keith, Cassidy and Alec would always say,
"There's always time for Nicole !", because I almost always took her call which is unusual for me because I hate talking on the phone. Alec and Cass thought this was so funny and would run over to me with the phone and say, "It's Nicole, it's Nicole!!"

I would be so lost without my best friend. She has been strength, comfort and support and so much more for me. Nicole has sat with me and still sits with me while I cry and cry as she cries and cries with me. She has listened for hours upon hours at a time when all I've talked about is Alec and how heartbroken I am. As she shared how heartbroken and sad she is for us and for her as she misses Alec so much. I have so many friends, family who have offered any way they can help and to just cry with me and offer to sit with me while I yelled and screamed and cried, and I am so grateful to you all, but I just could not be with anyone else. I would only let Nicole into my life, my heart and my soul. I can only say that because she is my "soul friend" (that's the best way to describe our friendship), I knew in my heart that she felt my pain and sorrow the closest to the way I felt it of anyone outside of Keith and Cass. I also knew that she just understood that I did not want and could not talk about anything other than Alec and Cassidy.
This is so hard to write as I have so many emotions and love for my extraordinary friend. Nicole shares with me how she talks to Alec constantly and ways she asks him to help us, and there have been times that I shared something positive that has happened and she will grab my arm and her eyes fill as she tells me how she was asking Alec to help me and us.
The first time this happened was after she stopped by to check on me and us. We were obviously in a really bad place and so so sad. She left heartbroken for us and talked to Alec and asked him for a sign that we were going to be ok because she was so so worried. Right after she left she had to go into the store Kohl's for shoes for Kevin jr. and she saw boxes of shoes named "Alec's" shoes. Nicole practically lives at Kohl's store and has never seen these before. She knew Alec was letting her know he heard her and he was helping us.

Throughout our 23 plus years of friendship, Nicole has been the "Motormouth" as Alec called her so lovingly! And I was mostly the listener, this is our perfect system. Our roles have switched and I am the Motormouth and Nicole is the listener. She always has some words of wisdom from Alec that help me at the times I need it most.

I have tried so many times to write about my best friend on here, but words fail me.
Even now, it's not enough. All I can say in Alec's words is Nicole, "I am so blessed to have you". Thank you for standing by me, sitting with me, loving me and taking care of me and Keith, Cassidy and Alec. We Love You

2 Comments

#23 ski boots for Taa

3/24/2013

5 Comments

We took Cassidy skiing today and had to rent skiis and boots, Keith filled out a rental form for Cass and the guy said she is a 23 boot. Then these are the ski boots she got, # 23 ski boots! Al was letting us know he is with us with everything we do. Keith heard one of the guys that worked there say we close today the 23 rd (but today is the 24th ).
Then a lady leaned over in front of me and her ski pants said "Bugaboo", one of my nicknames I had for Alec.

Cassidy did so good skiing, it was her first time.

5 Comments

Singing Dug

3/23/2013

6 Comments

A few weeks ago, Scott called Cassidy to see if she wanted to do something with the kids. They decided on bowling. Keith was going to take Cassidy and meet them and Cass asked me if I was going to go. I said yes I'll go. She was happily surprised because I know she was expecting me to say no as usual, but she always asks me any way. This made her happy, she doesn't want me to stay home, I think she feels bad yet I know she does understand why I do. I actually wanted to go, which even surprised me. We met Scott, Darlene and Kaleigh, Kaitlyn and Brendan. The kids bowled and had fun. Scott kept us laughing. When we done, the girls stayed with us and were coming over our house to play with Cass. As they were climbing into Keith's truck, Kaitlyn said to Keith what's that and pointed to a stuffed Dog sitting in the middle of Keith's back seat. Keith said, that's Alec's singing Dog (singing Dug as Al called it). The girls said "Awwww" .
Alec loved his singing stuffed animals and I think this one he stole from Vovo, it sang "New York,New York", until Al played it too much and Keith fixed it over and over--soldering it and sewing it, until he no longer sang. Al still like him though. As soon as Keith told them it was Alec's dog, the girls looked at me searching my eyes, it was with an understanding and I knew they expected to see tears. I repeated to myself, don't cry, don't cry over and over. I was able to hold them in. Then Kaitlyn put singing Dug in her lap and held him so lovingly the whole way home. It made me sad at first as I was imagining Alec holding him, but then it made me realize how much comfort it brought her to be holding one of Alec's favorite things, she . It was truly special.

6 Comments

Crossed fingers

3/18/2013

2 Comments

I went to the dentist today just to have him look at my front tooth which looked like something may be wrong with it, it looked transparent. But I had just had so many problems with my teeth this past summer and it cost a boat load, I was hoping he would say nothing was wrong, I just wanted to catch it if there was.
So I sat in the chair and told Kristen, the sweetest assistant that I was crossing my fingers that nothing was wrong, and I crossed my fingers of both hands and kept em crossed while he looked. He said there was a small crack but it wasn't worrisome and no work needs to be done. I said thank you and told him, that I crossed my fingers and it always works.
Then I went to the desk and looked down at the appointment book and it was open to October 23 rd.

2 Comments

Angel # 777

3/17/2013

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Last night, Keith ran into the store and when he came out he showed us his receipt, his change was 23 cents. Then he said his total was $7.77. I told him that yesterday I was behind a car with the license plate #777 and I felt like it was a message and told myself I would look up this # when i got home but I forgot. I knew now that it showed up again, I had to look it up.
The angel number 777 is a highly spiritual number with the mystical number 7 being repeated 3 times,making it's influence most powerful. Number 7 resonates with the attributes of spiritual enlightenment, development and spiritual awakening, persistance of purpose, intuition and the inner voice of wisdom, mysticism, contemplation, knowledge and understanding, discernment and consideration and good fortune.
It says that you have listened to Divine guidance and are now putting that wisdom to work in your life. You are being commended by the Angels as your successes are inspiring, helping and teaching others by example. Repeating number 777 informs you that you are being congratulated and your efforts have been well noted by the angelic and spiritual realms.
I knew it was a message for me and us. I have felt a slight shift these past few weeks and I even have started trying to pray again this week. Some days I have knelt and had no words only tears and other days for a minute or two, I was able to talk to God and Al and ask them to help me open my heart again, to feel love and to give love. I have asked God and Al to guide my life.
I know this makes Al happy that I am learning to trust God and talk to him again. I had wanted my whole life to know God to believe in him and Alec brought me to him, when Al was a baby and it looked like there was no hope, that is when I found God and I found Hope. Even though back then Alec's health kept getting worse, I always had the Hope that he would be healed that he would be with us, I knew it for certain. I wonder if Alec brought God to me (instead of me finding God). I do believe this too, Al Loved God. And I want to make Al happy and proud.

2 Comments

Alec call 911

3/15/2013

1 Comment

My cousin Denise sent me an email telling me Alec was in her dream and he was holding a phone to his ear.
Then she realized that she had told her kids about a funny Alec story not long before her dream.

One day, me, Cassidy and Alec and Denise and her husband and kids were visiting Vovo (our Nana). So we are all just sitting around talking, laughing visiting.
Then there is this loud knock on the door, Denise opens it and it's the police. They said that someone called 911, and we said no we didn't call 911. Then we remembered that Alec had been playing with Vovo's phone. He must've dialed 911. I was so flustered, feeling awful that they came out, I told them that it was Denise's son who called. Haha! She took the blame graciously. It left us laughing so much after the police left. And still makes us laugh.

As I"m typing this I looked up at the tv and the temperature is on the corner of my tv and it says it's 23 degrees.

Alec is not the only one who called 911 by accident, twice Cassidy has called 911 from our house. She was playing with the phone, and a minute later it was ringing. We didn't answer it, (we don't answer our phone much). Then it was ringing again, this time we answered it and it was the police, they said we called 911 and were about to come out. We had to reassure them that it was our daughter who called by accident. She did do it another time too. It's funny because her and Alec were so little when they called 911, and didn't know what 911 was, they were just playing with the buttons and dialed 911.

1 Comment

The Sparkly Desk

3/14/2013

2 Comments

I've been cleaning Keith's work as a little job, and the other day as I was dusting the printer, I saw the time on it was 10:23, ( but it was really 11:23, the time wasn't adjusted on it yet.) I felt Alec there with me especially since I was cleaning the "Sparkly Desk".
When Keith brought Alec in to work one day, Alec looked at the big desk and said
"Why does Rick have a "Sparkly Desk". The desk is grey and in the light it has a shimmer. Al thought this was so funny that Rick would use a girly sparkly desk. He loved to talk about it and laugh about it all the time.
It always amazed us, the things Al could see.
And his sense of humor was the greatest.
Then when I left and got in my car, there was one leaf on my windshield.

2 Comments

Maureen's Marathon Number

3/13/2013

3 Comments

Maureen sent us an email yesterday to tell us that she got her bib number for the marathon and her number is # 23472 !

No she didn't pick it, it was what she was given.....of course!

3 Comments

Giraffes in Class

3/11/2013

3 Comments

When I was in English class, we were looking in the Grammer book and there was a Giraffe on the page. Then my teacher handed out a work sheet and on of the sentences on there was about a Giraffe. And in the Grammer book, the whole page was sentences about Giraffes.

And in my book I was reading in reading class it says instead of H-O-R-S-E for a basketball game, they played the game using G-I-R-A-F-F-E instead of horse.

Cassidy

3 Comments

Start shopping for donations

3/9/2013

1 Comment

We are going to donate to the kids at the Jimmy Fund and Children's hospital for Alec's Birthday each year. And for those who want to donate, I thought I would share what I have been doing. When I am out shopping, I always check out the clearance sales, there are always great items marked so low. I used to see these great deals, but didn't have someone to give them to so I'd leave them. But now I know I can give it to a child who would love it, as there are all ages.
So I've been picking things up here and there, I've gotten fun hats for $3.00, toys for $1.00, books at half price. There are kids of all ages, so any items are great, stuffed animals,
fun pajamas, sports team items and clothing, toys, crafts, books. I just thought I'd share because I love a great deal, and I know I can give more when I find great items on sale or clearance, plus it's easier to spend a few bucks here and there. And it makes me feel good to know that I just got something that will brighten another child's day.

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