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Outside the Window--WOO

10/31/2012

When Alec was about 3, he would say,
"Outside the window--Woo".
It was the cutest and we don't know why or where he got it from, Cass thinks it was from one of his books. He would say the "Woo" part in his cute squeaky voice.
The other day, Beth had asked Cassidy if she wanted to ride in the parade with Jay her husband (a state trooper) and their kids Connor and Shannon . Cassidy had me ask Beth what they would do and Beth said, the kids will throw candy Outside the window (and I said Woo), she probably didn't hear me or thinks I'm nuts, but most people would say, Out the window.
Then she said,
"I bought 23 bags of tootsie rolls for the kids to throw Outside the window".
(and I said Woo again)
I said 23 bags? And she said yup, she didn't even realize that she had or bought 23 bags until she just told me. I thought she got 23 on purpose but she didn't. It's magic

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God does give us more than we can handle

10/30/2012

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Watching a sermon on TV from Bishop TD Jakes today and words he said struck me;
he said, " I used to tell people that God wouldn't ask you to do things that you could not do" and then he said, "But that's not true"--He then said,

"God will always ask you to do things that you can't do ",
"And that's how you know it's God asking you to do it".

I have a real hard time with the saying 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle", because living this life is much more than we can handle and it has been this way since Alec was first diagnosed and ultimately not having Alec our arms is way beyond what we can handle.

I can't say I understand what it means that this is how we know it is God asking us to live and endure more than we can handle, and why God asks us to do it, but having a Bishop validate the truth-- that it is completely untrue that we are living without Alec here physically because we can handle it.
Because us and many others are living well beyond with what we can handle.

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Alec's Birthday

10/26/2012

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I am going try to put into words our Alec's Birthday / Taylor Swift Magical experience.
We got to the Hotel a bit frustrated because we got lost and when we went to check in they didn't have our name and said there were not any Taylor Swift people there to check in with, our hearts sank, then one of the Hotel staff said yes, the girls to check in with are on the 2nd floor. So we headed to the 2nd floor. We were greeted by 2 of the nicest girls, Mandy and Christine, and I said ,"Taylor Swift?" and they said YES! They asked our name and pulled out a folder with our name on it--Sigh of relief! They gave me forms to fill out for me and Cassidy , while I was doing that Keith asked if he could go with us and they said sure, I think we can arrange to keep you guys together but you may just have to step back for the meet and greet. I looked up with tears in my eyes and said to them REALLY! he can come with us--Thank you so much this means so much to us, (the tears were welling up and they noticed), as they were explaining everything and putting bracelets on mine and Cassidy's wrists, I needed to explain the tears, I told them that this means so much for us to stay together because it is our son's and Cassidy's brother's birthday Oct 23 and he is in heaven and he made this happen for his sister, by then they were crying with us and they shared that they each had just lost someone very special to them, Instantly Mandy grabbed a bracelet for Keith and said you are all going and put the bracelet on Keith's wrist. She asked what our son's name is and we said Alec.
It was the best feeling to know we were all going to stay together and both be able to enjoy this special moment with Cassidy. I worried about Keith being alone for the time we were away and wanted him to go, but he insisted that I go because he knows I love Taylor too. These girls worked for Big Machine Record Co./Taylor's Record co. and they could not have been any nicer to us. ( Keith also received such a nice message on his phone from Dawn at the radio station, she was checking in on us and wished us a great time, she was also so sweet and kind to us and made this happen.) We went up to our room and I wrote a note to these girls because I had to make sure they knew just how much their Kindness and Sweetness meant to us and how much it meant for us to be together on Al's Birthday. I gave them Alec's website so they could see our Beautiful Boy and his Amazingness. I dropped it off to them on our way out to eat. We had to meet in the hotel lobby at
5:15 AM, so we ate at Restaurant Charlotte and went to bed. We got in the lobby and Mandy came right up to us and gave us all a hug and stayed with us for a bit, all these people were waiting and with her group and she gave us such tender personal care. We headed to the front of Good Morning America and waited and then filed into the area in front of the stage, we were about 20 rows back. Keith was the Best Daddy- he was holding the camera in one hand and ipod in the other taking pictures and trying to get Taylor coming out, and holding Cass up so she could see. It was so exciting. Alec was all around us, just above/beside us was a gigantic ad with the date October 23 and a Huge #23 (for the show Don't trust the B in Apt. 23). There was so much kindness and love all around us. After Taylor's amazing performance, we waited outside the side of GMA to go in and meet her. A girl came up to me and asked if I would give her letter to Taylor because she was supoose to meet her, She said we looked like nice people, I said of course -(one act of kindness down). We went inside and there was Taylor just 20 feet from us and looking so sweet. A man came over to us and said she needs to rest her voice because she is on David Letterman tonight, so she can not talk, but you can talk to her and she'll nod and smile to acknowledge your words. Then he looked at Cass and he said I don't know if you play guitar but would you like a guitar pick? And he gave her a pick with Taylor's picture on it, Cass does have a guitar and knows how to play a bit. He was so kind and we did not see him handing picks to everyone-- Cass got some more special Love. And we also think it may have been Taylor's Dad because she said on her interview the day before that her dad loves to hand out her guitar picks to people. It was our turn to meet her and get a picture, she said to each of us in a whisper ,"Thank you So Much For Coming" in the most sincere and humble way, she hugged Keith and then hugged Cassidy and said something sweet to her and then hugged me, then we posed for a picture, we thanked her so much and told her this means so much, she pointed to a gift I had in my hand from Cassidy to give to her and a letter from Bryanna and one from the girl outside and she whispered, "Thank you So Much For That", I forgot to hand it to her, but she so beautifully acknowledged it and was so truly appreciative for it. I already knew she was the sweetest kindest full of goodness and Love girl, yet it was confirmed for all of us. It was a Magical meeting a Magical experience and Cassidy has beeen over the moon with excitement and awe since. Before we left, we made sure to thank Mandy and Christine from our whole hearts for all they did for us and they were so gracious and lovely , it was obvious that Alec touched them , our story touched them and they truly cared with their Big Hearts.
After that Keith and Cass could not get out of NY fast enough, but I said why don't we eat here at the restaurant Mandy and Christine (Taylor's girls) recommended, 'The Red Flame' before we go. So we did and while sitting there I saw Mandy , Christine and the other girl's that work for the record co. eating a few tables away. They walked by our table to leave and said Bye to us with kindness in their eyes and we thanked them again for everything. When we were done we asked our waitress for our check and she said it was all set, the girls at that table paid for us and she asked if we saw them-- we said we did. This extra act of kindness was just amazing, we could feel the love of strangers and Al's Love surrounding us. It was so heartwarming, touching, humbling and Amazing.
There was a sign in the parking garage that we parked in that said 23 bicycle capacity, and another that said maximum car capacity is 423. Al was everywhere
Throughout the day it was so bittersweet, here we were feeling excitement and it was Alec's Birthday it felt wrong, I had to keep reminding myself that Alec made this happen and he wants us to feel happy and he wants us to enjoy Cassidy, and that would pull me out of it. But when we got home and we did not have our Birthday Boy here with us to celebrate it really hit us hard.
Later I took Cassidy to Walgreens because she had $20- Papa money and really wanted to buy a Taylor Swift shirt and bracelet. The total cost $19.23! Plus there were 5 --#23's on her receipt (Al always gives us 23's on our receipts but this was the most 23's on one receipt yet). Then when Cass was in bed and we were saying good night, she had downloaded Taylor's new album earlier onto her Ipod and was waiting for one last song to load-- she said, Dad can you put that last song on, and Keith did. When she went to her Playlist of Taylor Swift songs, she had a total of 23 of her songs. It was a beautiful gift from Al and a beautiful Amazing ending for Cassidy from Alec on his Birthday to her. The END

Below are some pictures of the signs we got from Alec

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October 24th, 2012

10/24/2012

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Thank you all for the love sent our way and Alec's way yesterday. It was amazing, Alec was surrounding us with Love and taking such good care of us. Cassidy LOVED meeting Taylor Swift, she was so sweet and lovely and we were treated with such kindness and love by the girls at Taylor's record company. It was such an emotional day filled with excitement and missing Alec so much. I will share all about it, I'm just overcome with emotions at this time to write.
Love to you all

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Share Alec's Love on October 23

10/22/2012

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Please share Alec's love on October 23.
We would love for you all to do random acts of kindness tomorrow for Alec on his birthday. These do not have to cost money as all of Alec's acts of kindness did not cost a thing, A smile, talking to someone, asking their name, just taking a moment to notice someone and share kindness.
Thank you

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Maisy -- Al's Cat

10/22/2012

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On Alec's birthday last year, we were so lost. Missing him so much and not knowing what we were going to do. Cassidy asked if we were going to go to the shelter and get a cat because when she turned nine, we surprised her and took her to the shelter and let her get a kitten. We told Alec that when he turned nine, he could get a cat too, just like Cassidy. So this was Al's ninth birthday and we all agreed that we should go adopt a cat for Alec. We all asked Al to give us signs and lead us to the right cat. Cassidy had a few of Alec's favorite's to choose from for a name for the cat; Suzic, Didick, Maisy, Elmo. We wandered around the shelter looking at all the cats and kittens. We got a room and Cassidy kept bringing cats in to play with them. We saw one whose name was Cassidy, we thought for sure that was a sign-- she had to be the one. Keith and Cass went to get her and bring her in the room, but they said she was mean. I didn't believe them because I was certain that was the one we were suppose to get until I went to get her, and she was beyond mean-hissing and biting. Nope, not that one. We looked and played with many but none were just right. I was getting discouraged, we really needed Alec to show us he was with us getting his cat, that he was picking it. So we went into a room full of cats and read all of the little bio's of them all -- their names, age, and personality. We read one who sounded perfect, so we started looking at all of their collars names to find it. But couldn't find it. Then we looked up on top of a cabinet close to the ceiling and there was a cat sitting up there. There was a cat staircase to get up there. So we started calling to the cat to try to get it to come down. We tried everything but it was not budging-- not interested at all in coming down. We were bummed, but figured it must not be the one. Then after a few minutes, the cat stood up and started walking down the stairs so slowly. It was so purposeful, can't explain it. So Cassidy quickly grabbed it and we checked the name on the collar and it was Charlotte, she was 6 months old. This was not the name of the cat we were looking for, but I had a special feeling about this, mixed feelings because during one of my crazy online searches to find comfort back months before (I don't know what I typed in), but was so saddened and shocked to see this litttle girl named Charlotte pop up, she was a patient at the Jimmy Fund when Alec was. And now I was reading that she had gone to heaven around the same time as Al. And this cat is named Charlotte, I just felt like they were letting me know they were together. (Keith and Cass didn't know about this).
On the cat's belly was a skinny green line tattooed. This surely was Alec's cat because he loved to draw long skinny lines and green is his favorite color.
This cat was so sweet and cuddly and just wanted us to snuggle her and pat her. We all felt that Charlotte was definately the one. So we adopted her, Al's cat.
From the moment we brought her home and still, she looks up and all around and stares and even opens and closes her mouth as if she is talking. We always look to see what she sees, knowing it is Al, wishing we could see too. She loves long skinny things just like Al-- she steals straws constantly from our drinks to play with them, she plays with skinnies which Al loved (the plastic piece that hold price tags on clothes). She waits outside the bathroom door for Keith to get out in the morning, just like Al. And she sits at the top of the stairs when Keith leaves in the morning, just like Al. She sleeps in our bed, just like Al. And she is usually in Alec's room. There are so many things she does that are just like Al.
Cassidy had decided to name her "Maisy", because Al loved his Maisy the Mouse stuffed animal. He said she was his daughter.
I later checked in on Charlotte's facebook page, because her family still posts and I was amazed to see that Charlotte had a dog and her name is "Maize". I could and couldn't believe this. I felt that I was suppose to share this story with Charlotte's family so I sent an e-mail telling them and they were so amazed too.

I just went online to check out the hotel we are staying in in NY, Millenium Hotel, and they have a restaurant called Restaurant Charlotte . Wow, on Al's birthday last year the cat named Charlotte and now on Al's birthday this year the Restaurant Charlotte.

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Alec's Birthday donations are on their way!

10/22/2012

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We are so touched and overwhelmed by the kindness, love and generosity of so many who helped us make Alec's birthday a special day for patients and their siblings at the Jimmy Fund and Children's Hospital. We know Alec is soooo happy about this, as he loves his "Clinic" and "H" family, they all made sure to brighten his day when he needed it most and you all can be certain that these same beautiful loving people will share all the gifts you sent with yours, ours and Al's love to so many to brighten their day. They will have a special "Giraffe" Day at the Clinic in Honor of Alec's Birthday on October 23 and will share these gifts as well as save some for those moments when a child needs a little love from Al. We can't say thank you enough, it has meant so much to us to be able to do this on Alec's birthday and it has given us a happy feeling knowing how happy it will make others.
Love you all so much,
Laura, Keith , Cassidy and Alec.

The donations are being delivered with love by Taa (Cassidy), InNicole (Nicole), and BGirl (Beth). We are touched that they are doing this and in return they are touched that they get to do it. Thank you girls so much this means so much to us.
Keith and I would love to see everyone at the clinic as we love them and miss them so much, but it would be too hard at this time to go in, but Cassidy is so excited to go in and see everyone, she too has a special bond with some there as they took such good care of her too.
Here are pictures of our Special delivery girls and all of the donations/gifts
We placed the stickers on evey gift so they know

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Cassidy gets to see & meet Taylor Swift on Alec's Birthday - October 23!

10/20/2012

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Last night while Cass and I were driving home from shopping, I got a text from Nicole, Cassidy read it and it said "did Keith get my text". Cass texted back that I didn't know. Next text from Nicole,"Keith needs to call the number I sent NOW". We were like what is that all about. Then it hit me, maybe it's about Taylor Swift. I called Nicole who couldn't really talk and just said something about Keith needing to call the number. I called Keith, he said that he called and spoke with a girl from the radio station and she had tickets for us to meet and greet Taylor Swift in NYC and see her perform. I could not contain myself, tears streaming as I told Cassidy and telling her these are happy tears. She was so excited, it was all over her face -- it was that inside excitement throughout. I told her that she needs to know that this is without a doubt a gift to her from Alec. That he made this happen for her because he loves her so much and wants her and us to be happy on his birthday. She knows this. I was so excited for her and I realized this is the first time I have felt this feeling and that came with so many emotions. Here's how it played out.
Nicole's cousin Cindi sent an email to The radio station 102.5 (which she sent to everyone on the radio contact list) she sent one to Taylor swift and she sent one to GMA. One girl from the radio station 102.5, contacted her and told her to call her asap. She told her she was able to get 2 tickets for us from Taylor's record company. This person was amazing (not sure if I am able to share her name), she clearly has a really big heart, Keith thanked her so much and she was so glad that it made Cassidy happy. Then I emailed her to thank her myself and she simply said, "It was my pleasure" and she was glad that it made Cass happy.
We read the email Cindi sent and it was beautiful and so touching and heartbreaking because it hit me that this is our story. She explained how Alec is with us giving us signs especially with 10-23. And that Alec's birthday is October 23, and that it would mean so much to Cassidy because if it happened , then it was a gift from Alec, her little brother.
I have felt with certainty that Alec wanted us to do this for Cassidy on his Birthday and if my feeling was right that he would make it happen. I heard on Good Morning America, that Taylor would be there performing on Oct 23, and recorded it for Cass, because every time we hear or see 23 it is a sign from Al. Then a day later we were all talking about what we would do on Alec's birthday and it came to me to go see Taylor Swift, I tried but it wasn't working out, Then the announcement I heard for the radio contest, I tried as did so many, but didn't win-- but I did win because I got my song from Al. Then the GMA contest, I entered as did so many, and I was waiting to hear. All day yesterday I had the feeling that I was going to get called or emailed to tell us that we won the tickets. I just knew that Alec wanted us to do this, but I also knew that if it didn't happen then that is not what Alec wanted us to do on his birthday. We needed a plan in case, so we decided that we would do 23 random acts of kindness for Al on his birthday-- which we will still do. Alec chose to work through beautiful caring people to share his love and make this happen. Cindi shared our story emphasizing the significance of Alec's Birthday being October 23, she wanted so much for this to happen for Cassidy and she touched someone else who in turn shared their love and reached out to Taylor's record company who was touched and Alec worked his Magic. It was all about LOVE.
We want to thank every one who called and sent e-mails to try to win for Cassidy, because it means so much to us. We felt the love from everyone who was trying to make this happen. And that is the most important of all- Love. Like I said if Cassidy didn't win, we knew that's not what Al wanted, but that either way it was about feeling the love and support all around us.
Cassidy is beaming! And for her it is excitement to See and Meet Taylor, (she thought it was to see Taylor sing which was so exciting to her and she was WOWED that she is going to meet her),
yet mostly that it is Alec loving her so completely and just wanting to make her happy. Oh AL You Are Amazing!
They were also kind and generous to give us a hotel room for the night, so we will go Monday and sleep in NYC!

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Al works his Magic

10/19/2012

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Cassidy and I went to the mall after school to pick up a some Giraffe items to donate. They didn't have what we wanted so we were leaving, but i dragged Cass in another store to see if there was anything good to buy to donate. Cassidy was looking at bracelets and kept asking me which one I liked best, I told her but I told her to get which one she liked best. She had her own money so she bought 2 because they were on clearance. The cost was $4.23 - of course. Then when we left, she pulled out the green one she bought and gave it to me, she said "I bought this one for you". That Girl is so sweet, and to think I was losing patience with her because she hates shopping and was getting aggrivated with me and she only wanted to look at bracelets for her--how wrong I was- she was asking which one I liked to buy it for me. The sign from Al was for both of us, but it was a reminder for me to feel the love from my girl.
Then we went to Target because Keith's cousin Diana had sent a box of gifts to donate and also a Target gift card for Cassidy to pick out something special to buy and donate for Alec. So thoughtful. So we got some things to donate, but Cass really wanted to buy a cute Giraffe and didn't see one there. So I told her that I would use the gift card to buy what we were buying and I would give her the money to buy what she wanted at another store. She was happy with this. At the check out, I paid with my credit card, and after I was done I said Oh I forgot to use the gift card. The cashier told me to go to the service desk and they would take care of it. I gave her my receipt, I didn't even notice how much I spent. She swiped the gift card and then said the difference was $23.00 which will go on your credit card. I said to Cass that Alec is shopping with us, as he always is and we felt him even more since we were buying donations to give on his birthday. On the way home something so exciting happened which I will share soon, today is a day where Alec was making his Magic happen and showering his Love on us

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Giraffe Tie

10/19/2012

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Keith took Cassidy to the orthodontist yesteday and when they got back Cassidy told me that the Dr. had a Giraffe tie on. She was trying to tell Keith quietly to look at his tie, but Keith couldn't understand what she was saying. So Cassidy typed onto her IPOD, "Look at his tie" and held it up for Keith to read.

When I was looking over Cassidy's school work, she had a paper that said page 23 at the top.
Al is always giving his sister his love

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