Today I saw  the time left to make a purchase on a website and it was
18 hrs. 23 min.
I have seen these two numbers together when I have especially needed it.
The 18 represents my Dad, his birthday is Nov. 18,  he went to Heaven 22 years ago he was 42.
When Alec went to Heaven, I immediately begged my Dad to let me know Alec was with him and he was ok.  I soon saw on our digital weather thermostat the # 42  and about an hour later the #47. My dad was 42 and he was born in 1947. That was my first reassurance. Especially since it should have been much colder outside, like 10 or 20 degrees.  Then,  I  pleaded to my Dad again,  and soon after I was reading a bible verse booklet with real stories, and I read a story of a grand child who climbed into Grandpa Dick's lap and said to him, I remembered what you told me, that Jesus loves me.
My dad's name is Dick his (his full name was Charles Richard).  I knew he was telling me they were together.  A while later I decided on a whim to run into the used book store, I only had a few minutes, I  unexpectedly found a book that had been recommended to me called The Wheel of Life by Elisabeth Kubler Ross, and the numbers on the spine (it was an old library book) was 23 18. This book was therapeutic.  Just a few weeks ago we decided to watch our favorite movie with Cassidy,  Happy Gilmore, and in it  Adam Sandler is a hockey player and his helmet has the #23 on it and his shirt has the #18 on it.  Of course we never noticed it before, but usually your helmet and shirt # would be the same.  These are just a few of the messages and signs I've received.  I know it's my Dad and Al reassuring me constantly that they are together and that Alec is well taken care of.
These days are so so difficult, Alec is surrounding us with extra love,
he's amazing. We love you so so much Al and miss you so so much.

If you are at the mall, please remember to go to Macy's and write a letter to Santa and drop it in the big red mail box, for every letter Macy's will donate a dollar to make-a-wish foundation to make dreams come true for children with life threatening illnesses.  They have paper right at the mail box to write on.
Again another way to help that doesn't cost anything.

A few days ago I opened an envelope that came in the mail and in it was a picture of Archie our dog. I couldn't stop the tears as I looked at our sweet boy and then read that he went to heaven in May, he was 15 years old.  After seeing it was Archie in the picture, the thing that stood out so much to me was his foot prints in the sand.  And I feel there is a message to us from Archie in it, because it just brought to mind the "Foot Prints in the Sand" story.
   We had to give Archie up about 7 years ago, it was just too much to care for him and we wanted him to get the attention and love that he so needed and deserved, which we were no longer able to give him like we used to. While I was sad to let him go, I knew it was best for him and us, but Keith had the hardest time letting Archie go, it devastated him, but in the end he knew it was the best thing to do for Archie and knowing Archie would be placed in a loving home with owners who could shower him with lots of attention and love helped him to let go.
  Archie's adopted family posted updates on him on the Lab rescue site, so we still felt connected to him and loved reading and seeing how happy he was and they were to have Archie in their life. 
   This is the picture they just sent with a card to let us know how much they loved Archie and what a good boy he was. They told us that they knew he was such a good dog because he must have been loved so much by us and had a good home and family, they thanked us for the gift of Archie.

I have been meaning to post a formal thank you to all who made Alec's birthday so special for us and so many children.  I was going to put a list together to personally thank every one individually, but I'm afraid I might leave someone out, since some gifts came anonymously. I tried to make sure I thanked everyone, but I know that I didn't get to thank all.  I do know all who gave gifts and money and we kept a list to save, and we thank you all from our hearts for helping us make Alec's love shine so brightly on the patients and their siblings at the Jimmy Fund and Children's Hospital. 
We also want to let everyone who donated money how they brightened two very special kids day. We had so much money so generously donated that we were able to buy 2 ipods with cases and itunes gifts cards for a very special girl who is a patient at the clinic, who Alec and we adored and one for her very sweet brother.  I will respect their privacy and not post their names, but I will tell you they are a very special family and we bonded with them as we we had the same clinic day. It was a blessing to be able to brighten their day with Alec's Love by your love and generosity.  It meant so much to us to be able to let them know how special, brave, strong and loved they both are.  The thankyou notes we received from them, they each wrote their own, brought us to tears and smiles. They were so appreciative and what really meant the most to us was how much they think of Alec and miss him and know he is with them and taking care of them, they could feel his love for them.

Below are pictures taken by Martha in the clinic resource room where she set up a special Giraffe / Alec's give a little love away day. She made it so special, I lost some of the other pics, but it was all Giraffed out. We could feel the love she put into it, as Alec and Marfa (as he called her) had a sweet special bond. Al and Cass loved spending time in Marfa's room and playing with Marfa.  Actually all 4 of us loved spending time with Martha, she was always so fun and silly to be with and always made us laugh and smile, plus super caring too.
Thank you all again so much we are so grateful to you all.

We just got an email from Jeff's Place informing us that today is chilhood grief awareness day.
We are aware every day,  and yet sometimes Cassidy seems to be doing so good that it may seem that she's ok. And then we get the constant reminders with her worrying and fears, that we know she is not always ok. On top of this she holds her feelings in.
It is good for us to see her laugh and play with her friends and cousins. And she is doing well in school.
The one thing she loves to do is to talk about Alec always, especially the funny things he did and said. This is the one thing we all need, to always talk about Alec, and we need others to always talk about him too. 
You can go to childhood awareness day .org  to read about ways to help, support and understand a grieving child.

i use to have this lotion called we called banana cream. I use to put it on Al right before he got a ''N'' [needle]. He loved bananas so that's why I called it banana cream. Al wouldn't go unless we had the banana cream. He would always asked me"Taa do you have the banana cream?'' He always believed it really helped it not hurt! He asked me to put it on him when he had to get his port out but,we didnt have it with us so we had to use another lotion and tell him it was banana cream.

I was listening to Bishop TD Jakes today and he said, "I am not afraid to die, I learned early on when I was young and lost my first pet that that is what we are all going to do.  So I'm cool with that, that's fair, as long as we are all going to do it. We all got to do it, if one of ya'll escape, I got a problem with it, but as long as we all do it, that's o.k.!  I am not afraid to die, I'm afraid of not living first."                                                   
                              
                     (his words made me laugh and think)

Got in my car today and glanced down at the mileage numbers and this is what I saw. 
Keith told me that on his way to work he saw 2 license plates with the numbers 423.
I feel it is a confirmation from Al about psalm 23:4 , especially since I wrote about it yesterday.
Cassidy and I also saw a really tall and really skinny wooden Giraffe in a jewelry store today.

And Cassidy was suppose to get a signed Taylor Swift picture the day she met her, but they didn't have them and said they would send them. Keith and Cassidy desperately wanted to get one for Bryanna too because she is the biggest Taylor fan. Keith was going to ask the sweet girls at the record co. for one for his niece-Bryanna, but when he called to thank them for buying us breakfast, he had to leave a message. And then when we hadn't received the picture as of Sunday, he said now he can call and tell them we didn't get Cassidy's autographed picture and then he could ask for one for Bryanna. So today a package came and as she was opening it we realized it was her Taylor picture, I said now Dad can't call and ask for 2. And then she opened it and they had sent 2 !  It was magic -- Al Magic!  Cassidy said so excitedly said,"Now we can give Bryanna one, she is going to be so excited!"

Yesterday my friend Kim sent me an email telling me Alec was in her dreamm and he said, Kisses,Kisses, and last night ALec was in my dream and I got to give him a kiss on his sweet lips, it was the greatest feeling, the greatest gift from my Beautiful Boy!

"Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me"

I had noticed at the beginning of last year and since that along with the
# 23's we were seeing, there was often a #4 with it, it is weekly if not daily sometimes that we see it. I couldn't figure out what the 4 stood for, so I looked it up on line and this bible verse came up.
I knew after reading this that this was the message we were given, but I was not sure if it was meant for us to know that Jesus and God were with Alec always,  and  to remind us and comfort us of this. Or if it was for us because we are in the darkest valley and have struggled with our faith and I am certain that the evil one wants us to lose our faith, but Jesus and God are reminding us that they are with us always comforting us, guarding us from Evil.  I now believe it is for us and for Alec.
I am reading a book titled,"To Heaven and Back" by Mary C. Neal, she had a near death experience and visited Heaven and spoke with Jesus and Angels.  She wrote that she had always thought the psalm 23:4 were for those close to death, but after losing her son, she now believes it is for the people grieving because the sadness and despair can prop open your heart and let evil enter.
She wrote exactly what I had been thinking and wondering about.
I think the reason we see 23:4  so often is to be a constant reminder that God is with us even when we doubt. I know Alec sent us this last year to bring comfort to us to know that he has always been cared for.

I will always remember (it was before I had Cass and Al), asking my
Nana (Silva),  who had the strongest faith of anyone I've ever known, I said to her,
"Nana if there is a God, then why do all these bad things happen?",
I thought if God was so good and loving then he would not allow bad things to happen and I  could not believe in a God that did not stop the bad from happening, it didn't make any sense to me.
She quickly and matter of factly replied,
"Oh Honey that is because the Devil is at work".
I can't say I understood it then, but I never forgot her words and later came to understand the truth to them.