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"JOHN"

1/1/2013

4 Comments

 
Two years ago today, I walked (barely) one street over with tears streaming down my face to John and Barbara's house. I had never met Barbara, but she sent us a card after Alec went to heaven to tell us that their little boy, John, had gone to heaven when he was 7 years old. She wrote that she was so sorry for us and that the pain never goes away and that she heard all about Alec from her husband John and wished she got to meet him. She said John would come home from his walk and talk about this cute little boy that he talks to.
   Alec would always stop John as he walked by with his dog Fable, and he would say Hi to John. We didn't know John, but thanks to Alec we got to meet him and it became a ritual with them. Alec would spot John coming by our house and say hi  to him and ask to walk Fable and John would give Alec her leash and he would hold on and follow her around a bit. She is such a good and gentle dog and Alec loved her. Alec didn't like many dogs but he liked Fable. John was always so kind and friendly to Alec and Cassidy, he'd say to Al, Hey Buddy and chit chat and Alec always had him laughing.
We never knew John's son went to heaven, it was 33 years ago he would be our age. But after I knew, I now think that Alec met John for us.
Alec met John when he was 7 the same age as John's son was. I feel Alec lined it up knowing we would so desperately need him and Barbara.
Barbara welcomed me into her home with open arms that day even though they had her daughter and son in law visiting. Even though she never met me. She had me come in and sit and talk while her heart ached for me for us for Alec and for her  and her son. John came out and saw me, he was so broken for us  and Alec and for him and his son, the tears in his eyes showed me that the pain never goes away  ever,  the missing of our beautiful boys will forever hurt.  Yet they also showed me that it was possible to smile and laugh again.  They shared their son John with me and I shared Alec with them. They shared how they got through and still get through -which there is no manual , you just wake up and live another day , you don't know how you do but you do.

Barbara emailed me today to tell me that she remembers this day 2 years ago, the day I showed up at her door. I will always remember, but I didn't think she would.  I did  not know what to do, it was Keith's Birthday, how can he have a Birthday without Alec, I was so sad for him as I am again today. There are no more happy birthdays for us, except Cassidy's which is bittersweet.
When Cassidy would see John walking by our house, she would tell Alec and he would yell out the window "JOHN"!. Cassidy would duck so he would only see Alec. It was so funny. We all started yelling "John" inside the house when we heard him coming ( Fable's leash makes a loud jingle), it became one of our many funny things we do. Now when we see or hear John we still say "JOHN" , we have to. Cassidy will yell to John out the window, but only when she know he's far enough away that he won't hear her. Though secretly she wants him to hear.
4 Comments
Holly
1/1/2013 06:51:35 pm

Laura,

Thank you for sharing this story. I agree...Alec lead you to John and John to you (& Barbara). He knew you would be there to help each other. Yet another wonderful gift from Alec...

Love you,
Holly

Reply
Barbars
1/1/2013 11:00:35 pm

Laura, I read your blog every day, but this one really brought tears to my eyes. I am glad that you came to our house that day. We shared our stories about our boys. You can see that you can smile and laugh again, even though the pain never goes away. It was fate that Alec met John and Fable. We have so many stories to share. We will continue to heal and realize that we have to go on.

Reply
Anne
1/3/2013 05:55:20 am

Barbara, I am Laura's aunt and having read this I wanted to send my heartfelt condolences to you and your family for the loss of your son John. I am so glad that Alec met your husband and Fable that day and brought you guys together. You are in my thoughts, Anne

Reply
Barbara
1/4/2013 02:34:23 am

Anne, Thank you for your kind words. I am glad John and I met Laura,Keith and Cassidy. It is nice to know that someone else has gone through what they are going through. I am here for Laura if she needs me.

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