The past week, I have been able to see how Alec and God have placed specific people in my life to help me and to show me I am not alone.
The odd jobs that I have picked up, have all opened my eyes in new ways. I didn't think I could work, but I felt I needed to try and I got the job being a caregiver for the elderly which was ok when I had a sweet couple especially since the woman had a Giraffe sweater, but I had to quit when a different woman treated me like Cinderella. I felt so beaten down that day I quit, the agency was not nice at all, and just a few hours later, I got a call back from a woman who I applied to months before to be a private caregiver to help an elderly woman and her disabled daughter and she had decided this day to call me. I got the job and this woman is helping me because she has not had an easy life, her daughter was born with cerebral palsy and is severely handicapped and her husband died when he was 42. She is optimistic and cheers me up and always offers ME encouragement when I need I talk about Alec and start to cry or when I tell her how hard life is now. I feel she is helping me much more than I am helping her. Plus, she is so much l
ike my Grandmother that I feel like I am with her, we play cards and she says things that Nana said, she's funny and silly.
Then at my two other jobs, recently the people have opened up to me to let me know that they lost a sibling when they were young, and have given me their story in a way that I am able to see what Cassidy is feeling. And they have both told me that their parents did not handle it well (there is no way to handle it well, but their stories one in particular, was horiffic) and they suffered because of it. They have helped me understand what I can do to help Cassidy feel loved and cherished and definately what NOT to do. I have beaten myself up thinking that I am not being the Mother I want to be for Cassidy, but after hearing their stories, I am able to feel much better. I am doing the best I can, (better than their Mom's did), but by hearing their stories, it makes me want to try harder for Cassidy and be better.
I know this is no coincindence that these people were placed in my path, especially when I was and am so unsure about working and being a part of life and society again. One of the hardest things for me has been thinking that everyone else is living a perfect life with a happy ever after (which I thought we would have). And all these people including the Mom on Cassidy's field trip have shown me that unfortunately, there are many more stories that are not the happy ever after. I have felt less alone.
I feel Alec is showing me that I am being a good Mom, and he's showing me the proof of what I could be like and how awful that would be for Cassidy.
thanks Al, Mama loves you soooo much
The odd jobs that I have picked up, have all opened my eyes in new ways. I didn't think I could work, but I felt I needed to try and I got the job being a caregiver for the elderly which was ok when I had a sweet couple especially since the woman had a Giraffe sweater, but I had to quit when a different woman treated me like Cinderella. I felt so beaten down that day I quit, the agency was not nice at all, and just a few hours later, I got a call back from a woman who I applied to months before to be a private caregiver to help an elderly woman and her disabled daughter and she had decided this day to call me. I got the job and this woman is helping me because she has not had an easy life, her daughter was born with cerebral palsy and is severely handicapped and her husband died when he was 42. She is optimistic and cheers me up and always offers ME encouragement when I need I talk about Alec and start to cry or when I tell her how hard life is now. I feel she is helping me much more than I am helping her. Plus, she is so much l
ike my Grandmother that I feel like I am with her, we play cards and she says things that Nana said, she's funny and silly.
Then at my two other jobs, recently the people have opened up to me to let me know that they lost a sibling when they were young, and have given me their story in a way that I am able to see what Cassidy is feeling. And they have both told me that their parents did not handle it well (there is no way to handle it well, but their stories one in particular, was horiffic) and they suffered because of it. They have helped me understand what I can do to help Cassidy feel loved and cherished and definately what NOT to do. I have beaten myself up thinking that I am not being the Mother I want to be for Cassidy, but after hearing their stories, I am able to feel much better. I am doing the best I can, (better than their Mom's did), but by hearing their stories, it makes me want to try harder for Cassidy and be better.
I know this is no coincindence that these people were placed in my path, especially when I was and am so unsure about working and being a part of life and society again. One of the hardest things for me has been thinking that everyone else is living a perfect life with a happy ever after (which I thought we would have). And all these people including the Mom on Cassidy's field trip have shown me that unfortunately, there are many more stories that are not the happy ever after. I have felt less alone.
I feel Alec is showing me that I am being a good Mom, and he's showing me the proof of what I could be like and how awful that would be for Cassidy.
thanks Al, Mama loves you soooo much
RSS Feed
