The Will To Live

I think of this day and remember 9 years ago ( May 17, 2003).  Alec  was clinging to life, I was begging and pleading to him and praying with all of my heart, soul and everything in me for him to fight, to stay strong and courageous and to have the will to live.  As Keith was too. Alec  was fighting so hard. I told him over and over how much we needed him, how much I needed him, how he completed us as a family, how he completed me, how much we loved him. I prayed nonstop only leaving his side to go to the bathroom , but he was never left alone. I told God that I would not believe in him if he didn't heal Alec.   I had finally found God a few weeks before after Alec was diagnosed, in the hospital, my Aunt Eileen had given me her little book of bible verses and it finally made sense to me, I felt God, I knew how to pray and believed my prayers would be answered, they had to be. I (we) were waiting for Alec's miracle, for our miracle, I believed , despite what we were told.  We were going to a Healing Service the next day and Alec's sweet home nurse told Keith we should go , but the healing would be for me and Keith.  I would not talk to her, I would not hear any of this. She would come in our room and scoop Alec up and hug him and kiss him and just love him, that part I could be a part of.  Painfully, Keith was left to hear her words, her thoughts, only because he had to.  We believed in Alec, in God and answered prayers. I believed in Alec.